The Road is Made by Walking It: Why No One Can Give You the Answer

People think wisdom can be bottled, labeled, and sold. They believe that a professor can give them knowledge, not just about a subject, but about life itself. That a life coach can unlock the secret to success. That inspiration is something you can buy by the hour. But most often, all you learn from a professor is how to be a professor. All you learn from a motivational speaker is how to work a crowd.

Lately, I find myself on the other side of the table—people asking me for advice, looking for the roadmap, the foolproof recipe. And I get it. There’s comfort in believing that if you just follow the right steps, you can sidestep failure, outrun the uncertainty.

But my journey is mine. I can tell you what I’ve seen, what I’ve learned, where I stumbled, where I soared. But I cannot give you a formula.

There is no universal smoothie that you can just gulp down and poof–you’ve “made it.” Forgive the mixed metaphors, but there is no magic blend of secret herbs and spices that will carry you to where you want to be. The road I took was not paved before me—I laid it brick by brick, decision by decision, failure by failure.

You don’t need more guidance. You need more doing.

A great teacher, if they’re worth anything, can give you one great thing. A single lesson that sharpens your instincts, refines your vision. And once you have it, lingering is death. You must move forward. (We can still be friends, but don’t put me on that pedestal in perpetuity. I’m no sage.)

So stop waiting for the hand that will pull you up. Stop seeking the map. The way is made by walking. Dive in. Take the hit. Let the world push back, let it test you, let it break you if it must. Because reality is the best bullshit detector.

By all means, dream. But let your dreams face reality. Mike Tyson said everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face. Another mixed metaphor: Let life be the sculptor that gives shapes to your dreams, let it chip away at what doesn’t belong until there is nothing left, until the true essence of where you need to be is revealed.

A dream that cannot survive the fire–one that bends, breaks, and is consumed under the forging–was never real to begin with.